I always thought the old saying about trouble being someone's middle name was a joke, until the last few months. Now I'm not so sure...

My middle name starts with an "M". I think my name is "Mess".

I've been trying to get back to blogging--writing in general, because I found a website wanting me to write for them--but I've had one explosion after another and I just couldn't get to it.

A few months back, my dear Uncle Ivan started having car trouble. He took his car to our friend and trusted mechanic, Roger, and soon learned, after a bill of over $500, that the head gasket was cracked and leaking anti-freeze.

We did not know how SEVERELY the head gasket was cracked, nor did we know that the fuel pump AND the fuel line was defective, and the latest estimates on further repairs to Ivan's '88 98 Olds is $1,000...IF we can find a fuel line for a car that old.

...And no, the mechanic's not trying to rip Ivan off. We've known this guy for years. He's a straight shooter. If I had any doubts about Roger's diagnosis, they vanished as I followed the trail of white smoke from Ivan's crippled car, on the way to Roger's garage.

Ivan can't afford to get that car fixed, nor can he afford to get another car...

Now while all this is unfolding, Ivan has dropped his supplemental health insurance and has transferred to the VA Hospital for preventive care to save money since he's on an extremely limited income, a fine idea, but we live in a rural region approximately 50 miles away from the nearest VA center. With Ivan's car virtually past driving, I'm elected--and gladly so--to transport Ivan to necessary appointments.

In the meantime, I put Ivan on my car insurance and gave him my '85 Blazer to drive around home.

We are not financially comfortable people, thus we drive ancient cars.

Shortly after I thought the car mess was settled, Mom and I got home from Wal-Mart late one evening and discovered the water heater in her trailer (the politically correct term being "manufactured home") was leaking, badly, and had flooded the back portion of the trailer.

That consumed most of the night, trying to locate the non-existent shut off valve, finally shutting off the water to the trailer at 2 a.m., and in the process, the outside shut off valve began leaking, as well.

A trip to the nearest Home Depot brought home a water heater, which once installed, had leaking intake lines. Some more plumber's goo glue, or whatever the stuff is called, fixed that, or so we thought. I spent a portion of the next day removing sodden, ruined carpet.

Oddly enough, once removed, we noticed the floor was still soaked a few weeks later, so Thanksgiving night was spent removing more floor covering and sealing the still leaking water heater lines. The thing had been leaking on top, and we hadn't known it.

We haven't yet seen water bill from this...

A couple weeks later, a cold front blew through the whole nation, bringing a wind with it that howled as if it was a live thing. I never heard such a racket.

The power went out a few hours, but came back on again, and we thought all was clear 'til the power suddenly went out again. I walked out and found a giant tree limb had torn the wiring loose from the house. We called the electric company, and the linemen said there was so much damage, with the hot wires ripped from the wall, that an electrician would have to repair everything.

Fortunately, we have a wonderful ex-contractor friend from church, who'd replaced the leaking outside valve from the water heater fiasco, so we called on good ol' Dave again.

Dave replaced all the ruined electrical parts, put up an oak board to attach the conduit, and we were cookin' pretty good until a couple visiting preachers came by and accidentally backed into the newly replaced outside shut off water connection, knocking the water out to the whole place.

We have ANOTHER friend as talented as Dave, so we called him, and he and Husband John installed another new water line while Dave was still working on the electric mess.

That whole weekend cost around $600, including the $88 extension cords we had to run across the field to run the wood furnace blowers to heat the house.

We had a few scant weeks of relative financial peace, but then last week Mom looked out the trailer--remember, I'm not politically correct; we call the thing a TRAILER--window and saw dear ol' Ivan walking, sans Blazer.

The Blazer had quit and dumped him in front of our place. He'd monkeyed with it with a neighbor's help, and they couldn't get it started again, so I called poor longsuffering Roger again.

Roger called three tow services and couldn't get anybody, so I called our neighbor, Silas, who brought his truck and tow trailer. I threw the key on the Blazer to put it in neutral, and that crazy thing STARTED. So I ran it up and down the road a bit, but not knowing what happened, Ivan and I decided it needed a physical and we drove it to Roger's.

So Ivan was without wheels again over the Christmas weekend...

Today, Roger called and said the Blazer was ready, and he thought the problem involved the distributor; the bill was $177.01.

That's the good news.

The carburetor is shot and is spewing gas on the spark plugs. The estimate for that disaster is $600 to $700. The particular model Blazer I have contains a very expensive carburetor.

Anybody remember the old HeeHaw show, where the guys did a skit, singing:

"Gloom, despair, and agony on me,
deep, dark depression, excessive misery--
if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all,
gloom, despair and agony on me."

It was really funny, and one of guys moaned loudly between the lines.

I kind of feel that way about my life now, and I'm trying--with some success--to keep a sense of humor about it all.

The Bible says it rains on the just and the unjust. That is absolutely true. ...And I'm trying, really trying, to take it all in stride...

So, ahem, does anybody know where I can get a rebuilt carburetor for an '85 S10 Blazer for under $500?

That'll save me a few bucks for the next disaster...